Legitimate Reasoning

“Don’t worry, AFTER dance we can drink!”
“Holy fuck, Brock Turner gets out of prison on Friday.”
“Okay, ONE shot.” 


SUPER good ideas pt 1

Clairika was back at it again with pure genius ideas today! Today’s edition: a party, but themed like everyone is still in high school. 
The rules: 

-all liquor must be “stolen” from parents, and be in water bottles with little clue as to what it actually is 

-all liquor must cost $10 or under 

-High school dress code mandatory (Jean miniskirts, etc) Abercrombie / hollister encouraged 

-throwback music 

-bitching about parents is MANDATORY (i.e. Wow, my parents are soooo lame, they think I’m at _____ house)

-if you have a letterman jacket, you MUST wear it 

– and that sort of thing! 
So, what do you think? HILARIOUS? 

Wine Wednesday

Happy Wine Wednesday! We like to meet Wednesdays with gusto and boxed Franzia like the classy, cheap people we are.

I just ate my weight in popcorn while (surprise) indulging in netflix with the gals.

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Our ideal bowl of popcorn:

A couple tablespoons of oil in a covered pot + 1/3-1/2 cup of kernels on medium heat until kernels are mostly popped. Stove popcorn tastes infinitely better than microwave popcorn.

Our secret to perfect hippie popcorn:

Drizzle with Tamari (our choice of gluten free soy sauce) and sprinkle with nutritional yeast for satisfying, salty, healthy popcorn. Our fave.


Shanah Tovah

Happy New Year!

Rosh Hashanah is the one time of the year I go to synagogue. I can say a grand total of 10 words in Hebrew, but I do love that most Jewish holidays revolve around food. I slept through services this morning, but the apartment is celebrating today appropriately with apples and honey.

I can’t wait for the apartment’s inaugural Chanukah latkes and Passover seder; two more holidays I observe for the sake of delicious traditional food.

But today our celebrating isn’t extending beyond the couch and Thai delivery from 2 blocks away. Or in Hazel’s case, taking shots by 3pm. The appropriate way to ring in the new year for a couple of raging atheists.


l’shanah tovah,


The Sex Diaries (Volume I, Part I)

Back by popular demand, this sex advice column/story telling will be running again.

In general, threesomes are always a go. This is just an unspoken (actually, I beg your pardon, quite spoken) rule. When deciding to involve yourself in a three way, there are many different aspects to look into. First off:
– Are they sexually attractive?
– Are the members partaking people that you would sleep with individually?
– What is the relation to all of the involved members?

Many times, there will be some drama/tension/awkwardness. That is just a part of ordeal, and is something that should be spoken about and freely embraced, even mid intercourse. Communication is key, people, Oprah doesn’t lie. It’s important to assess the relation between the members and see how you play in, as your role can/will sometimes influence your position or level of involvement in said activities.

Next, it is important to look at the people’s sexual desires, likes, dislikes and respective orientation, and respect these wishes as best as possible. If you are a heterosexual female in a three some in which another heterosexual female is involved, it is important that a form of ground rules are laid out, (no kissing, scissoring, fingering, using vibrators on each other, etc.) whether these things are stated or not.

Alright, that’s it for today, I hope everybody is staying safe and enjoying banging some kinky drunk sluts they met at cinqo de mayo parties!


Lube is for the weak