Tiny Dancer


We REALLY WANT A DOG. When we A: get a house, or B: figure out how to sneak one past the landlord, we’re getting a voluptuous pitbull named Tiny Dancer. Our beloved Tiny will be a spoiled lapdog and faithful guard dog.  The fighting over who’s bed he gets to sleep in will inevitably result in a vicious custody battle that leaves poor Tiny unstable and in need of extra love and therapy. We’ll mean well though.
Maybe it’s best if we wait on getting a dog.

p.s. seriously, fuck cats.




We get pumped for Halloween here. We’re already knee-deep in planning our costumes (or I am, at any rate). So far I’ve already planned a Bonnie and Clyde for Friday night with my devilishly handsome boyfriend, Allen,


and an Anna and Elsa for a Saturday night Halloweekend party with our honorary roommate, Erika (@erikabearika). Planning has included a Frozen drinking game where singing along and wearing crowns are mandatory and drinking occurs with every mention of “love” or “snow” (there are a lot).


This is the spitting image of Erika and me once we’re in costume.

-Claire (or Elsa, either way)

Shanah Tovah

Happy New Year!

Rosh Hashanah is the one time of the year I go to synagogue. I can say a grand total of 10 words in Hebrew, but I do love that most Jewish holidays revolve around food. I slept through services this morning, but the apartment is celebrating today appropriately with apples and honey.

I can’t wait for the apartment’s inaugural Chanukah latkes and Passover seder; two more holidays I observe for the sake of delicious traditional food.

But today our celebrating isn’t extending beyond the couch and Thai delivery from 2 blocks away. Or in Hazel’s case, taking shots by 3pm. The appropriate way to ring in the new year for a couple of raging atheists.


l’shanah tovah,


The Sex Diaries (Volume I, Part I)

Back by popular demand, this sex advice column/story telling will be running again.

In general, threesomes are always a go. This is just an unspoken (actually, I beg your pardon, quite spoken) rule. When deciding to involve yourself in a three way, there are many different aspects to look into. First off:
– Are they sexually attractive?
– Are the members partaking people that you would sleep with individually?
– What is the relation to all of the involved members?

Many times, there will be some drama/tension/awkwardness. That is just a part of ordeal, and is something that should be spoken about and freely embraced, even mid intercourse. Communication is key, people, Oprah doesn’t lie. It’s important to assess the relation between the members and see how you play in, as your role can/will sometimes influence your position or level of involvement in said activities.

Next, it is important to look at the people’s sexual desires, likes, dislikes and respective orientation, and respect these wishes as best as possible. If you are a heterosexual female in a three some in which another heterosexual female is involved, it is important that a form of ground rules are laid out, (no kissing, scissoring, fingering, using vibrators on each other, etc.) whether these things are stated or not.

Alright, that’s it for today, I hope everybody is staying safe and enjoying banging some kinky drunk sluts they met at cinqo de mayo parties!


Lube is for the weak



We are Claire, Hazel, and Nick. We’re living in a tiny apartment near the University of Oregon. Hazel, studying architecture and history, and Claire, studying architecture and dance, speak to each other in French, and are essentially a single unit. Nick is studying journalism (for now) and serves as comedic relief, occasional housewife, and house chef.

We are currently squeezing as much as possible (and as many Harry Potter movies as possible) into the last days of summer and (eek!) gearing up for a packed fall term.