Legitimate Reasoning

“Don’t worry, AFTER dance we can drink!”
“Holy fuck, Brock Turner gets out of prison on Friday.”
“Okay, ONE shot.” 


Being Cool is So Fucking Expensive <3

Being cool is sooooo fucking expensive. All I want is a pair of birkenstocks but they are sooooo expensive (but so cool). Hi, my name is Janet and I’m the third roommate. I am broke with expensive taste and I’m a slut. I am NOT a feminist. I just want to marry rich and do dishes (sometimes). I’m currently saving up for my fourth boob job but I spent all my change on buying a piggy bank made of carrot gold. I fuck guys sometimes. They give me money for my boob job. And meth. I occasionally smoke meth. but it ruined all my teeth so I replaced all my teeth with carrot gold teeth. I’m so smart. I’m a pre-med student (more like pre-meth). Sorry, I need to go smoke some meth. Ttyl.

Love, Janet

xxoo (blow jobs and tittie fucks)



It’s raining, it’s pouring

We love Eugene (usually) and have grown accustomed to the rain, but the transition from summer sun to constant, monotonous grey is never easy. The seasonal shift really began today, and the rain has started. Help.

We’ve been sheltering in the apartment and drinking tea. We mustered up the motivation to do some living room yoga this morning (our idea of morning being around 1pm) but we’ve since devolved to Netflix (shameless Criminal Minds binging). We love days where we don’t have to feel guilty about not going outside.


The Hangover

Hangovers are death. Alcohol is the devil. The morning after True American, the electrician came over to fix our dish disposal and discovered us sprawled on the futon, Erika still wearing a tiara, with the living room literally covered in Rainier cans.



Our hangover cures, perfected through practice:
•Close the blinds
•Blanket piles on the couch
**Do not speak to anyone outside the apartment**