Menstropolis: An Original Drunk Poem by Nick Dysinger

The polis to my menstruation
My Name is Janet
And I own a Home Depot
I wear crocs in the Winter
And hail my queen Kathy Bates
69 times a day
I eat 3 servings of ***** a day
Where a boyfriend is just a friend
Who is a boy
And who is also your bitch
Where everyone looks like Rosie the Riveter
But gayer
Where someone is beating off to Bring it On
Oh shit, girls don’t beat off
Well, for the purpose of this poem
They do in Menstropolis
**** ** ***** **** infected penis *** ***** **** ******



For any of you bigoted fucks who don’t know who Rosie the Riveter is, here she is you stupid biiiitch


Being Cool is So Fucking Expensive <3

Being cool is sooooo fucking expensive. All I want is a pair of birkenstocks but they are sooooo expensive (but so cool). Hi, my name is Janet and I’m the third roommate. I am broke with expensive taste and I’m a slut. I am NOT a feminist. I just want to marry rich and do dishes (sometimes). I’m currently saving up for my fourth boob job but I spent all my change on buying a piggy bank made of carrot gold. I fuck guys sometimes. They give me money for my boob job. And meth. I occasionally smoke meth. but it ruined all my teeth so I replaced all my teeth with carrot gold teeth. I’m so smart. I’m a pre-med student (more like pre-meth). Sorry, I need to go smoke some meth. Ttyl.

Love, Janet

xxoo (blow jobs and tittie fucks)